October 7, 2015 | 4 comments | Holiday/Seasonal, Kid Time, Me Time, Parenting Advice

Halloween Shopping Has Gone Awry

Two months ago, we’d just arrived back home from our summer vacation. The kids were happily playing in the backyard while my husband unpacked, so I snuck off to grocery shop.

The grocery store by myself! What bliss to do a shop without having to drop them into the store’s playroom or avoid the entrance with the Red Box videos. On a Saturday evening too. It was a real night out for me. I even put some mascara on in the car before going in. Once inside, I negotiated my cart through the ever-narrowing aisles in that post vacation fog.

Why do they insist on putting all those huge displays in the middle of the aisles? I can’t maneuver around them AND all the slow old people who clog the arteries of the store. I actually hit an older shopper in the back of the heels once with my cart. Almost gave the old bird a heart attack. At least I had my three-year-old with me in the cart that time. Even though I apologized profusely about it and felt horrible with myself for being so careless, I’m sure God put it down on my permanent record. In my defense, it was one of those really big racing car carts that my kids love, but are so difficult to push, and I was trying not to be late for my son’s preschool pickup. Sorry about that, again. Us mommies are busy, busy people.

Glancing down at my list, I almost crashed my regular-sized and child-free cart into a new display by the pasta. This wasn’t here last week I fumed.

It was three huge standing bins of Halloween candy.

Halloween chocolates!?!

I immediately started to panic. We’d had a relaxing vacation. All those daily Corona Lights around the pool certainly helped. But I hadn’t missed two whole months. I checked my phone to be sure. It was August 1st.

Then, my panic turned to anger. Most people hadn’t even taken their vacation yet, I haven’t even thought about back-to-school shopping, but yet the retailers wanted us to start buying Halloween candy.

For all I know this display could have been here yesterday on July 31st, three whole months before Halloween. Even Christmas shopping hasn’t gone so awry. If retailers displayed Christmas merchandise three months early, on September 25th (over a month before Halloween), the public backlash would be severe.

I glanced around to survey the other Saturday evening grocery shoppers. To see if they had a similar reaction to this Halloween candy blocking the aisle. No, they weren’t staring at it with their mouths hung open in disgust. Apparently, they assumed that this was a normal thing to have in the grocery store at this time of year. I even saw a woman pick some up, meaningfully inspect it, like she was reading the nutritional label (what could she have been reading about?), and then put it into her cart.

She’s actually buying Halloween candy on August 1st.

Did she really have the discipline and self-control to keep this candy in her pantry for almost three whole months? And even if she had the will power not to eat it, wouldn’t her children see it and demand it? Wouldn’t her husband?

If I bought a bag, I would have it eaten within the week. By myself. It would call to me at every mealtime and I would sneak one here and there. And then poof, by the end of the week, all twenty-four pieces would be gone.

Then I checked the displays of SnickersKit-Kats, and Twix one last time. Were they really Halloweeny or maybe it was just a chocolate sale in the summer? Yes, there were ghosts and witches and pumpkins on the boxes holding all these pounds of candy.

Now, I was beginning to hold up traffic. There were impatient mothers behind me clearing their throats for me to shit or get off the pot.

I didn’t put any into my cart, nor had I thought about Halloween so early in the year. But then, I remembered a conversation that I’d had with my three-year-old daughter earlier in the week. My kids had been watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates on Disney Junior that week at the beach. We’d been playing tons of pirate stuff around the swimming pool. My daughter was always pretending to be Izzy, the girl pirate on the show. So much that I’d asked her, “Do you want to be Izzy for Halloween this year? We’ll do your hair in pigtails; we’ll get the costume with the cute little boots.”

“Yes,” she’d replied as her face lit up. “And the pixie dust.”

And, it arrived via Amazon yesterday. Although, i´m biased, i´m pretty sure she makes a cuter Izzy than Izzy herself.


Hope you enjoyed this latest in the funny mommy blog series!

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  1. Karen Bernthaler

    October 8, 2015 10:29 am

    I really enjoy reading your Blogs. You are very creative and your stories are interesting. Keep on writing. I can identify with some of your experiences.

  2. Carissa Howard

    October 8, 2015 12:01 pm

    Thanks Karen! Keep on reading and sharing. I plan to write a new one every Wednesday.

  3. tony t.

    October 9, 2015 6:25 pm

    so you’re guilty of awry halloweening too??

  4. Carissa Howard

    October 9, 2015 8:59 pm

    On the costume but not the candy!

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